A couple of weeks ago, I posted about reading Breakfast At Tiffany's and since then, I've re-watched the hell out of this classic and it reminded me about why I started this blog. This began as a blog called Holly Golightly Sitting Alone In The Back of A Taxi (a mouthful, I know) which was dedicated to trying to figure out who I was (am?) and therefore arrive at some semblance of stability (which Holly finds, in the movie version). That was in 2011.
I'd just been through the worst kind of break-up: a break-up with a friend and I really felt like I needed to figure out why it was that I'd acted the way I had. Why was it that I couldn't be honest? And why was it that I felt like I needed to be able to leave everything? Why was it that I felt like I needed to be the center of someone's universe? And why couldn't I deal with that not being the case?
I think that was the first time that I'd ever been the dumpee in (any kind of) a relationship. It struck me that it hurt so much when the person "breaking up" with me was someone who wasn't even with me--much like Paul Varjack, I guess. And re-watching it after almost two years has got me reinforcing my belief in the importance of keeping a blog or a diary or some kind of log of realizations. I think writing things down helps you deal with things that you can't say yet--not to yourself, not to anyone else.
Photo c/o google search.
Here are a couple of the things that I realized, over the past two years of writing in this blog and trying to become (or remain? I'm not sure) a somewhat sane person:
